Fortress Of Solitude

Ya know, when people fall in love, they usually express it with sweet words and poems such as:

The leaves are blooming, the flowers are shining
The sun smiles upon the mortal heart
For tis is the day when my soul is sinking
And Cupid shoots her powerful yet beautiful dart

Yeah, yeah, blah, blah. Let me give ya an insight of what’s goin on inside.

“Hello there, fellas. Welcome to the Fortress of Solitude. I am General Me. And today, I will be your guide. Background music, please.
Let’s start with history. This Fortress was build for Me. It consists of many things regarding Me. As you can see, this fortress is always busy. As you can see, there’re few rooms here. There’s the Me room, the My room, the I room, and many more and it’s all about Me.”
“Sir, we got a situation”
“What is it, private Me ? Can’t you see I’m giving a tour de moi ?”
“Sir, the fortress is under attack.”
“What ? How could that be ?? Who is he ? Give me the reports !”
“Well, he is actually a she, sir. Our visual system was the first one being attacked. Next, from the visual system, the main system.”
“How bad is the damage there ?”
“Sir, it actually said that goat shit tastes like chocolate.”
“Holy baloney ! Get me Sergeant Me. He knows how to deal with this sorta thing.”
*moments later*
“Sergeant Me ! What is your suggestion ?”
“Sir, the damage to the fortress is unbelievable. I think what we should do is embrace her and unite with her to make a new fortress.”
“What ? Embrace ? Unite ? I want my tactical officer, not some Yin Yang Feng Shui thingamajig.”
“Sir, if we can co-operate with her, we can heal the main system. She have what we need. The half system can be recovered.”
“Will it be the same ?”
“Well, according to my calculation, it will be better.”
“How long will it last ?”
“Maybe forever, maybe a while. I still couldn’t calculate that. Yet. I need the main system to be back online.”
“Okay, so what do we do now, Einstein ?”
“We hit her back. Hit her with all that’s left of us till she received the same amount of damage, and then do not force her to surrender, but ask her to stalemate.”
“I see… So, that means… we are at war. Sacrifices will be made…”
“Sir, we must sacrifice in order to gain.”
“Yes, yes. Power the main system ! All officer ready ! We are at war ! Attack !!!”

Hehe, see ? That’s why guys might do anything in order to gain his love… Well, that’s all, I guess. What ? You expect a sequel ? No way, humans learn. Terminators don’t (sorry, TX ), however… Ciao.

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